How To Win Friends And Influence People Celestina Style

The book Celestina by Fernando de Rojas is a Spanish version of Romeo and Juliet, just with more prostitutes and love of the all mighty vagina. Celestina is this character that is able to portray both pure evilness and desire at the same time. Of course anyone who has broken up with their significant other would know how easy it is to place those two traits into one person. These traits make her come out as not only a fantastically dynamic character, but traits melt together so perfectly that she doesn't have to have a split-personality. Calisto decides to send for Celestina so that she can make Melibea fall in love with him. However, a servant of his warns that Celestina is evil which he promptly ignores and makes her out to be love instead. The love, desire, and evilness that she embodies come together to show us that you can't have any fun without hurting others. In fact, in order to get what you want, which is of course, money since you can pay prostitutes to love you. Then you need to be able to sabotage, hurt and ruin others.

Rule #1: By embodying love, even if you are evil, you can influence most men.
"Celistina was friend to many students, and stewards, and servants of clerics, and to those she sold the innocent blood of the hapless young girls who foolishly took risks on the basis of the restitution she promised them" (de Rojas, 24). This is the true character of Celistina, the one who sells people for her own gain, the one who cares for no one but herself. Calisto places the love and desire into her character, looking past all the warning signs his servant gives him, and seeking her out to deliver him love in the form of Melibea. Parmeno, Calisto's servant, understands the danger of Celestina and says. "Ah, wasted, wretched, crushed, blind man! And on earth you are worshiping the oldest and most whorish bawd whose shoulders have rubbed the slats of every brothel in town!" (De Rojas, 29). Parmeno sees that Calisto is incorrectly portraying Celestina as love. Therefore, Parmeno begs Calisto to keep his money and to spend it on his actual love, Melibea. But, for Calisto, Celestina is his love. She may not be the direct object of his desire, yet he feels that she is the only one that can bring love to him. Therefore, in his crazed mind, spending money on Celestina is spending money on Melibea.

Rule #2: If you want to make an ally offer them a prostitute.
I mean, what else are prostitutes there for other than to make the process of making friends easier? Parmeno, after much deceit, only decides to help Celestina ruin Calisto because she gives him his love (aka a prostitute that sleeps with him). Somprano, another servant to Calisto, introduces Celestina because he knows her from when he has sex with the love of his life (a prostitute). The only woman not a prostitute, thus far in the book, is Melibea. Who at first is indignant when Celestina infers that she should go sleep with him but is happy to give her girdle as a present for him. Ladies and gentlemen, no matter how attractive he is I can safely say I would never give a relative stranger my bra.

Rule #3: Those that own the prostitutes, own others.
In fact, Celestina herself, when trying to get Areusa to sleep with a man, says, "Do not hoard your loveliness, for it is by nature as good an exchange as money" (de Rojas, 107). By getting Areusa to sleep with people Celestina gets money. You can do and get all sorts of things when it comes to sex. Friends like prostitutes, allies like prostitutes, they are the gift that just keeps giving and that every man wants. You can get money by selling the prostitutes. By having these prostitutes people come looking for you to give them their loves and desires. In turn all you have to do is give them a prostitute. They are never out of season. Soon you will own the souls of those who are sick enough to give them to you. When I say sickness, I do not mean coughing in bed with a fever, I mean head over heels in love. Because love, is the greatest sickness of all. Due to this love Calisto has for Melibea he seeks out the evil powers of Celestina to make her fall in love with him. So if Celestina can convince Melibea to fall for Calisto she can own both of them and owning both of them means siphoning money out of their pockets.